choices vs surrender

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..."
-Dr. Seuss

I hear that song You've Got The Power playing in my head. The message that screams like a gong against the calling to surrender.

Each morning as I awake I think through the grog in my brain, take this day use it well give all to God. This is not about control, anymore than surrender is about being lazy.
Meet the morning and make a plan. My better days start like this, Pray, eat, exercise, be somewhere I promised I would be, repair something, learn something, improve something question, change, enjoy...these are not lazy attitudes, in the business the surrender is in there too. With my 2 feet and my brain I can make choices I can begin to steer my lifes ship.

understand!

"Paul, known at that time as Saul, was playing the role of Defender of the Faith, when in fact he was a Persecutor of Christ".

I read this today and was struck with a sadness at how often I would or did try to do good, maybe for God, maybe just altruistically, maybe even selfishly; and I can look back on the deed the motivation and the outcome and wonder who's side I was really on?

I read how it is not about what I can do for God or even about what God can do for me, but just about the relationship, For the original human God relationship that is the only thing capable of healing the wound.

I read to Be Thankful in all Things: Thank you God for everything, for this Day you have made, for laughter, for crying, for children, for old people, and yes even for sick and suffering people. For the grass and the weeds, For the sun for the rain the dry cracked land and the wet swamp and even flooding. For freedom and for confinement. for the known and for the unknown....I do not understand all this but maybe someday I will.

The Scriptures say we cannot know all things because they are too terrible, The world says inquiring minds want to know! My experience tells me it isn't good to poke around when I have been told to let it go; after all Lots wife turned to salt. I myself have learned things terrible things, things that changed me, things I wished I could forget?

Isn't there a children's tale that climaxes as the hunting party wakes up a big bear that then chases everyone home through the exact paces, up down over and under , they used to get to the bear. On reflection maybe there is an answer buried there somewhere.


Faith is believing with out seeing and knowing without proof. Thank you God for all things seen and not seen, known and unknown.




Jesus, strengthen me in supporting those in our society who are vulnerable; help me live patiently with my own weaknesses. As I walk in your way, I extend my hands to others so that together we can form a safety net. Amen.

— from Eucharistic Adoration

recognize his works

Why Peter Took a Swim in His Bathrobe

A week or two after the foot washing, following the cross and the empty tomb, Jesus appears on the shore just across from where the boys are fishing. He acts like a guy out for a stroll, asks if they had any luck, suggests they try one more spot, and reproduces the catch that caught them all in the beginning. Watch how Peter responds this time:

The disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. (John 21:7)

Peter is a hundred yards offshore. That’s about three city blocks—a long way to swim, especially in a full-length robe. It would be like trying to swim wrapped in a bedsheet. Peter doesn’t care. He doesn’t wait for the boat, forgets about the fish, and as quick as you can say, “Jack be nimble” he hits the water, swimming, thrashing, gasping for air, then stumbling ashore fast as he can to get to Jesus. Do you think he then drew another line in the sand? “Hello, sir. Mr. Christ, may I approach?” Peter is a passionate, emotional, impulsive guy. He just swam a hundred yards in his bathrobe. I’ll bet dollars to donuts he ran right up to Jesus, sopping wet as laundry from the washer, and hugged him, soaking the risen Lord.
If Peter didn’t do it, you know Jesus did, adding his tears of joy to the wet embrace.
Beautiful. That’s the way to do it, friends. Just begin to make a practice of loving Jesus. Relate to him as you see his friends did in the Gospels.
(Beautiful Outlaw, 170-171)


Once again these reflections so simply put into everyday terms the love that is available if I can just learn to see it. Peter recognized the works of Jesus he was so familiar with the lord that he and John together at once caught the nuance of the message they had been hearing all along from Jesus. . Peter leaped int the water and swam to Jesus while the others brought in the boat. Was one better or more right? The actions are only part of what I must analyze, I must also ask for the grace to recognize the works of the Lord and then return to him with my love and my praise when I do.


Lord I pray you would open my eyes and my heart to see you working in every day life. That I might not be shy in coming to you that very moment and enjoying your presence and your love.

share love

When sharing my faith, Jesus is to be my model. He always loved and had compassion for the unbeliever.

I need to be All In, when it comes to my faith. I must have faith to believe even in times of unbelief.

When can this happen? Do I decide to share or not?

As this is taking place am I aware?

Who's faith is this anyway? Do I decide or does God place this into me?

God will meet me where I am and guide me to where he wants me. "

"Belief in Jesus is a miracle produced only by the effectiveness of redemption, not by impressive speech, nor by wooing and persuading, but only by the sheer unaided power of God."

get there

I guess there are just going to be days like today where I wonder where it is I am going. this is a side of the boat ramp going into the water of the Columbia River at tongue point. Sort of like how I feel like I am going but not yet there. I have been in the in between in varying degrees for several years now so I guess I have to admire God for settling me in slowly. The boat is making progress but I am not sure what that means in terms of when it will be complete. We hope 4 weeks. In that time it will be the end of September and the possible approach of winter storms.

If we can get this boat into the water and headed out to sea safely than we can plan the next months to be the adventurers.

I just feel like I have a very small world right now. The town, the boat shop, ( the guys who work on the boat) the church on Sundays. and there are one or two people at each that I know on sight maybe by name. I noticed last Sunday the lady we buy fish from has become very friendly asked how our fish was from last time etc. She smiles and actually acts like she knows us. What will that be like on a boat for days on end.?

I have my computer and a few projects, email, and bane of my existence right now the elections. I think I will be most glad to be away from that.

God grant me serenity to know what it is I need to focus on.

seek God

The Lord Upholds my life,
no matter what happens, If I turn to the Lord and honestly
give all of myself to him he will be there for me, as promised, always.

The Lord upholds my life,
In that delicate balance between neediness and self sufficiency he is there.

The Lord Upholds my life,
The Jews who trusted in Yahweh and went through daily life trusting God and living a good life were not forgotten.
Yahweh rescued them.

I think I am beginning to see a slight difference between being saved and being rescued.
The doorway that holds the answers slips open in a soft breeze, for just a moment and reveals a light to let me see, then it is closed again; not a hard closure. It just slipped shut If I am patient it will open again and I can have another look.

From age to age you gather a people to yourself, so that from east to west a perfect sacrifice may be made. Every day at Every hour a Mass is being celebrated with those who are gathered.

step out of the culture wars

I have been so troubled by the current and personal levels of political rhetoric, sometimes referred to as the culture wars.   The closer the date for the election comes, the more fierce is the dialogue, the more polarized the community becomes.   People get caught up in emotion.


In an election there must be a winner and I think some people may actually feel it best defines them to know who the winner is. This stays strangely true no matter who is elected. 

I  have believed forever that every story has two sides, I once rested my soul in that balance that there was truth somewhere hanging in the middle, sort of like a hidden Easter  egg or maybe a pinata.  That unfortunately doesn't bring me comfort any more because I now realize the problem is with these exact words [two sides]. If it is really two and only two opposing sides then there is at the end of the analysis a broken egg or pinata, a right and a wrong, good and bad;  and of late who is Holy and who is Evil.     Have we somewhere in all the mess let the politics of our time define the truth of our faith life and vice versa.   


Now  so many of us are upset because winds of political change are moving through our religious beliefs, beginning to tell people of faith, we have to change who we are and what we believe, because there are (according to popular pollsters] more people who believe something different. Popular media tries to say the members define the community of faith rather than the other way around. If popular belief was followed at the time of Christ then people would be worshiping Elijah or John the Baptist.


Christianity isn't a platform reminds The Outpatient Monk, Douglas Harrison.  The Christianity I know is a journey of people to God through Jesus, it is also a compilation of all our identities it is both who we all are, and it is each of us and each of our stories. It is dangerous territory when someone starts
linking our Christianity and holiness with our political platform.

Grafitti somewhere said Christians aren't perfect just forgiven, But I know deep in my heart that we aren't the only ones who meet that criterion. God is not a Catholic and he is not a Republican nor a Democrat. Jesus walked among us and told us to give to Ceasar what belonged to Ceasar, but to Give to God that which belonged to God; that being us. No person belongs to the political process or to a political party we belong to God. We are here to love each other and care for each other.  I just want to see it so I can act like it

get with Life

The Offer Is Life
What did Jesus mean when he promised us life? I go back to the source and what I find is just astounding. I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. (Psalm 27:13) I tell you the truth," Jesus said to them, "no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and, in the age to come, eternal life" (Luke 18:29-30). Jesus doesn't locate his offer to us only in some distant future, after we've slogged our way through our days here on earth. He talks about a life available to us in this age. So does Paul: "[G]odliness has value for all things, holding promise both for the present life and the life to come" (1 Timothy 4:8). Our present life, and the next. When we hear the words "eternal life," most of us have tended to think, "a life that waits for me in eternity." But eternal means unending, not later. The scriptures use the term to mean you can never lose it. It's a life that can't be taken from you. The offer is life and that life startsnow. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives (Romans 6:4 NLT). The glory of God is man fully alive? Now? Hope unbidden rose at the thought that God's intentions towards me might be better than I thought. His happiness and my happiness are tied together? My coming fully alive is what he's committed to? That'sthe offer of Christianity? The offer is life. Make no mistake about that. (Waking The Dead , 11, 12) Ransomehearts.com

So OK,  I don't see "Happiness" specifically spelled out like once I accept Eternal Life I am always happy forever....because that would be false theology. There needs to be something more supportive maybe even restful maybe about life going on now.

The surrender thing? Will that bring what I need to achieve the eternal life here now.
Am I more fully alive after I surrender? hmmm I'm usually more joyful, more open.

I am more fully alive because Christ was raised from the dead. It is a life that cannot be taken from me, but somehow I seem capable of misplacing it, or maybe giving it a back seat. Bring me more fully alive Oh Christ!

Unwind

This is not the way it is supposed to be, We are not supposed to be without God. God came to delight in us, and in return we will delight in Him.

His Spirit is here I believe this, so why do I feel so alone.

 David is home now for another month or so, spending one or two days a week reconnecting with friends,  He will go back to the boat in January to the mess that is constantly generating, the people who constantly tell half truths. I shudder at this. I vowed my support and so it goes.

The letting go thing is my task, but I can not just let go of everything so I have to see it as allowing myself to be unwound. Slowly the tightness of things I have controlled is slipping out becoming looser and moving away out of my grip. As this happens I feel like I am reviewing old moments of foolishness, old mistakes, I want to jump up and explain but that isn't part of it.  I need to have faith in what not to say. When not to speak, When I do not need to know.

I try to move forward with my life and be better but feel like a character in a movie who has just agreed to reform and I have no where to begin.

What will the day hold Lord? Will others need me and will I see it and respond appropriately;  or will I just be waiting here like my old dog just sleeping in her chair, waiting for some one to call me loud enough that I hear and respond.