Having a doctrine pass before the mind is not what the Bible means by knowing the truth. It's only when it reaches down deep into the heart that the truth begins to set us free, just as a key must penetrate a lock to turn it, or as rainfall must saturate the earth down to the roots in order for your garden to grow.

"Behold, you desire truth in the innermost being" (Ps. 51:6 NASB). Getting it there is the work of the stream we'll call Counseling.

Glad I read this today, something to ponder. I have come to believe that anyone who truly wants truth wil not be left out. But we just can't know everything it is too much.

Renew

I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. (John 16:12-13)

I awoke Sunday to thunder and lightening, and slept lightly while  much needed rain fell.

On my way to church I observed how the rain even as small amount as it was was renewing the ground the grass, the trees and I thought of how gloomy it had to be for that to take place. So I decided to embrace the gloom knowing the promise it would bring.

The readings were among my my favorites, reminding us to think of the promise, then came the homily which awoke my all too early morning reverie. The children at Sandy Hook School in Newton Ct.

This reflection was started yesterday and accidentally erased, I almost let it go but now I cannot. I am going to struggle to put this together and may never feel successful. I still struggle.

feel certain

It is a soft and delicate moment, that first light!

Erasing the dark of night into daylight. that promise fulfilled

Whether bright and blinding or

only a tiny brightness peeking out of the scene.

The sooner in the day it is seem

The more certain you can be of what it truly is

No confederates to spoil the effect.

But no matter when you verify it,

It is true joy, the light of a new day.

reply to sender

I too find myself dealing with unmet expectations all the time. This is often via my children but occasionally my spouse. I hate that the burden is always on me to make my expectations known, but I have to admit it does make life easier. If I want them to be at an event I have to make an announcement…sigh. Christmas Mass comes to mind….

And I am also comforted by the Sparrow song, I remember that I am going to feel alone often in this world because of this ongoing scenario of broken relationships; but I am not alone ever Christ is there But the burden is on me to see this. That is perhaps the grander message. Thank you friend.

What a friend we have in Jesus.

I am amazed and often confounded at how simple it is to take 2 seconds and tell Him what I am feeling. I feel all alone, overwhelmed, like I might cry. that I have no drive or no energy.  That I want to do one good thing today, that I don't want to argue or disappoint those I love.  Most amazing is I share this from the bottom of a mucky pond lying on my back, barely able to see the sky. The request  these days isn't a sub text in the mayhem; but my voice to the universe.

Realize, God doesn't hold back...

Surrender outside of faith masquerades as a humble first act followed by a humiliating finale; In Faith I allow myself to fathom that God is crazy in love with me than surrender seems like the only thing that can make sense. I do not believe that the God who created us out of love could hold back anything good from us even if he wanted to. He loves us and puts all good things for us to see and experience. He also sits with us , walks with us, cries with us, and rests with us when life deals us a fair or unfair consequence.

Lord you have searched me and you know me, you know when I sit and when I stand, you know when I am going to speak and what I am going to say; even if I run from you and hide you are with me.

Forgetting you are loved is one level of loneliness, not believing you are loved is unbearable. We all simply need to be reminded, and need to pay attention to His reminders in the beauty of creation the changing seasons and the lives of everyone around us.

original blogged 4-5-12

turn all to God?

Why did God curse Eve with loneliness and heartache, an emptiness that nothing would be able to fill? Wasn't her life going to be hard enough out there in the world, banished from the Garden that was her true home, her only home, never able to return? It seems unkind. Cruel, even.
He did it to save her. For as we all know personally, something in Eve's heart shifted at the fall. Something sent its roots down deep into her soul - and ours - that mistrust of God's heart, that resolution to find life on our own terms. So God has to thwart her. In love, he has to block her attempts until, wounded and aching; she turns to him and him alone for her rescue.
Therefore I will block her path with thorn bushes;
I will wall her in so she cannot find her way.
She will chase after her lovers but not catch them;
she will look for them but not find them.
Hosea 2:6-7
Jesus has to thwart us too - thwart our self-redemptive plans, our controlling and our hiding, thwart the ways we are seeking to fill the ache within us. Otherwise, we would never fully turn to him for our rescue. Oh, we might turn to him for our "salvation," for a ticket to heaven when we die. We might turn to him even in the form of Christian service, regular church attendance, a moral life. But inside, our heart remains broken and captive and far from the One who can help us.
And so you will see the gentle, firm hand of God in a woman's life hemming her in. Wherever it is we have sought life apart from him, he disrupts our plans, our "way of life" which is not life at all.
(Captivating, 96-97)

Loneliness, Sadness, yes but not necessarily Unhappiness?  Interesting. I wondered about the question why aren't you happy? I can honestly say I am, that's not the issue I have much, I make a point to be grateful for everything good and bad, and this allows me happiness. It doesn't always work to dispel sadness. Joy is back in there but only dimly flickering, It rekindles when Gods work becomes evident.

Trusting God to provide my needs (more than enough) not necessarily my wants, helps undo the sadness and the loneliness.  The loneliness, no one to talk to about these feelings is hard.