to navigate

I borrowed segments from the lenten Magnificat, today.my reactions  today

A flatterer never seems absurd: the flattered always takes his word.  Too much flattery makes me suspicious but just enough is like a tiny drop of poison in every vat of wine.

A Prophet always seems absurd: those to whom he prophesies always reject his word" Flatterers are popular because they say what people want to hear. I have a harder time here, because as I grew up, with absent parents,  I learned to listen to every warning and brace myself, maybe going overboard...I now almost instnctively ponder prophesies awhile or I believe every one. not all are true.

Flatterers avoid difficult truths because they are unwilling to risk rejection. yes yes yes

With Flatterers around we lose the potential for conversion.  hmmm ok yes, maybe so

When I put truth first, I can put relationships first, truth is the foundation to meaningful relationships. OK now we are in, (as the techies say) this is very nitty gritty, hard, I don't know how to navigate this...

When we think we know what God will say it is because we project into him our own idea of what we need to hear from Him.  I am realizing here this works both ways, if I decide God is telling me what I want to hear, or if I feel God is rejecting me all the time.

When we search out the truth it makes demands of us. And the journey begins

Reread this from church web site

God speaks to us today from the clouds. “This is my beloved Son… listen to Him.”  We need to listen to Jesus as if our very life depended on it, for this is where our life comes from. When we are on an airplane and everything is going well, most of us ignore the safety instructions before the flight, but when the plane starts bouncing around and the little masks drop, you better believe we all wished we had paid more attention. The same is true of our lives. When all is going well for us, we show up on Sundays and let the Word pass through our heads. Instead of saying with our whole heart, “Speak, Lord, your servant is listening,” we say with our pre-occupied minds,“Speak, Lord, and your servant will think it over.”  But when life begins to get rough, we start praying and asking God for help, for peace, for the joy we once thought we had. Jesus is speaking to us every day, in His Word, in scenes of violence from the Middle East, in the face of the homeless person we meet or in the stories of a close friend. He is telling us that He gave His life so that all of His children can live in the kingdom of joy and peace today, right now, if only we will turn away from ourselves and turn to Him. He speaks to us to tell us to let go of the crosses we create for ourselves, whether it’s turning 50 or 70, whether it’s the love of possessions or love of power; turn from these burdens we place on ourselves and embrace the joy and peace of feeling absolutely loved, not for what we look like or what we have, but because we are children of a loving God full of mercy and forgiveness. Take time this Lent to listen to Him. He speaks everywhere, but we are so wound up in ourselves we rarely hear. Come into His presence in the Blessed Sacrament and spend some quiet time with Him.  Train your ear to listen for His voice and perhaps you will find you can learn to hear Him all day long as He says with each heartbeat, “Love you.”

Drink up?

We are thirsty women, and that is a very good thing. It may not be comfortable, but it is good. If you aren’t aware of your hunger, you’re not very motivated to go to the banqueting table. If you aren’t aware of your thirst, you don’t seek something to drink…
In our world, we are barraged with options as to how to quench our thirst. We are buried in advertisements and information and suggestions and ideas and products and programs and have you heard the latest? Catalogs and flyers are felling forests to offer an answer to our ache, to assuage our thirst.
I have tried a lot of them. I’ve bought the shoes, read the book, done the study, and attended the program. I’m still thirsty. Scientists warn that the ability to be aware of and respond to thirst is slowly blunted as we age. In a world that oftentimes feels as dry as a desert, we can become numb to our own thirst. 
But as women who are being transformed into the image of Christ, we don’t want to grow numb but increasingly thirsty. I’ve tried to assuage my thirsty heart. I still need something to drink. I need the Living Water himself. So do you. It is our most precious fundamental need. Jesus invites, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink” (John 7:37 NIV 2011) from Stasi Eldridge, Becoming Myself Today.      



Yesterday in the middle of our set up for the Ladies of Charity volunteer appreciation luncheon, I kept noticing how horribly thirsty I was. There was so much to attend to many hands together were accomplishing much. There were many small details to tweak. When finally there I saw it, the drink table where I consciously stopped and asked for a glass of water. How similar this event is to life. I struggle with only part of who I can be when I don't stop for the living water every day. I have renewed respect for the things available to renew me, to offer a drop of water to my parched soul. Daily Mass, A piece of music, a prayer,  a reading from sacred scripture, a  friends posting a verse, a reflection like the one here. 

Know me

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us . . . And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. (Marianne Williamson)

The first time I heard this quote repeated it was attributed to Nelson Mandela, he had quoted it in a speech he gave to the people of So Africa. It was many years before I learned who it was correctly attributed to.
The words might as well have been scripture for their ability to cut to the center of me. I know exactly where I was standing when I heard them who said them and what the wether felt like. I couldn't stop pondering what it really meant to each one of us as children of God. I felt humble and called and confused.

When I was younger in a career, working like some kind of manic machine driven soul, on occasion I would hear of someone leaving saying they were cutting back to be with their family, or because they were sick. I would feel a stab at the center of who I was, because I often had to push off anger toward them thinking they were now making more work for the rest of us. The truth was they were empowering me. The work I did was important but not so vital that I couldn't stop. Once I realized the work would still be there and didn't require me, I stepped into the next pit and fell prey to my own promises, working myself into delirium wanting to be known for my great integrity.  The vortex continues and I got sucked in again.

The key maybe is to be involved and giving freely and in that letting our light shine. Who are we indeed, born to manifest the Glory of God that is manifest in us. I am a poem being written by The creator Himself as the present need dictates, I am not a five year plan, or a percentage to be increased.  Blessed are the meek, the peacemakers, the children of God, for the earth they inherit will be filled with the fruits of the Holy Spirit, love Joy Peace Patience, Goodness Kindness, Gentleness, Faithfulness and Self Control, the Self Control to smile and say no.

I thought I had this figured out than I read this from God's teaching to St Catherine of Sienna: 

The same is true of many of my gifts and graces, virtues and other spiritual gifts, and those things necessary for the body and human life. I have distributed them all in such a way that no one has all of them. Thus I have given you reason – necessity, in fact – to practice mutual charity. For I could well have supplied you with all your needs, both spiritual and material. But I wanted to make you dependent on one another…

So, we are designed with a fundamental need for one another. Humility, mutual dependence and charity, are absolutely necessary for our spiritual growth; they are absolutely necessary for us to overcome serious spiritual challenges. Our culture, fueled by the lies of the enemy, militates against these holy needs and seek to replace them with the anti-virtues of pride, independence, and hyper-individualism. These anti-virtues coupled with fear and vanity have locked up and destroyed many people of good-will who simply would not reach out and get help with the challenges they face.

Jesus said that He came to give us life and that more abundantly. Reach out for that life that he offers to you. Don’t settle for less. Get the help you need.

Soften up

If today you hear God's voice harden not your hearts: Psalm 95



Oh Lord, I have been duped, yet again. and not because anyone more clever than I blinded me. I was duped because I chose to be lazy, I chose to ignore those little twinges and voices you send out when a faulty persuasion or argument is in progress. I chose a human way, my way, also known as a hard heart.

As a mom so long ago, I learned to listen to my "mom intuition",  sometimes by trial and error but I got pretty good at knowing when my kids were pulling something. I shared my experiences with other parents and listened to them to benefit from their experiences. I knew then not to ignore those signals, the life of my children might actually depend on it. It was a formula that seemed to work.

So why do I fall prey to feeble logic and ignorant arguments, now when the situation is maybe a bit less personal why do I ignore those internal signals. where is my formula?

All truth is in You Lord, all truth. All love is found in you, Lord, and only in you
I must always remind myself misuse of facts can indeed cloud what I know is truth and how I must love.

I have a dear sister who rarely commits to popular opinions but always turns to her daily scripture and faithful friends for guidance.  I wonder if I can ever come to embrace a daily commitment, not for the joy of completing bible study programs because I have stacks of them, but for my daily self.

Isaiah tells us that Jerusalem rose and fell over her people remembering to pray, and worship God, like all humanity their values were held strong one second and traded for the popular whim in the next. But when they returned to God, The Way started to straighten.


So the question is, through prayer and scripture will I be strong enough to listen to and follow the right instincts placed in me by God. Perhaps,
If I do not harden my heart.

learn from my daily

I did not write this: but I can learn from it.

the source is Ransomed Heart Ministries who still includes me in the daily reading list even tho I have never sent them a dime.

I used to spend much time griping that things just weren't right, why cant I trust anyone to do the right thing to be the bigger man. why because we are fallen all of us.

How do I assimilate this and not get depressed? because there is hope, depressed is where the broken world lies. hope lies in my moments of prayer, worship, and trusting God.

Things are not what they were meant to be. East of Eden, we have kept moving east and come all the way ’round, finding the garden utterly lost and cruelly unrecognizable. We were all born into this world. We came in gasping for air, and we are gasping still. It’s a tough place to make a living, a hard place to make a life. Fire and ice. Beauty and terror. Pain and healing. Intertwined.

The good news is that Life wins out. Life has already won out. Love has won out. But the battlefield remains where we find ourselves, and the setting of the battle is a world that fiercely hates women. God loves women. Jesus loves women. The Enemy, the Devil, has women in his crosshairs.

Not a cheery thought but one necessary to face. Your life’s journey runs through unfriendly terrain. You knew this already. The smoke from the heavenly engagement going on all around us affects our watery eyes and our labored breathing like smog. With mortars flying, aimed at our heart, we need to name it. So much of the sorrow in our lives finds its roots in misogyny.

Figure things out

These past two months on the boat have been fun, and amazing, and at times frustrating.

I have enjoyed so much of this but always held a lonely spot inside me missing my grand children.

Mornings like this are fresh and quiet, damp and lately very cold.
Most days are of potential for where we will go next or what we will do that day
We really knocked out a lot of places maybe too many all at once.
Next summer we want to try and go to Desolation Sound and then explore islands up the inside passage until we make Alaska. I can't get excited right now, I just need to get home and see everyone.

Ill be more prepared, maybe, for pay showers, crazy laundry room set ups, and general stores that look like something my kids used to set up when they played store as children, bigger grocery stores that have prices through the sky with product names and ingredients written in French and English.

Sheesh. What will happen if I get someplace and can't read the language at all. David has been fairly demanding about food needs, it's hard to take time and learn the lay of a place when time is short and folks are expecting familiar goodies.

I keep thinking I'll just go to Costco and stock up everything so I don't have to worry about how to find stuff  while we are traveling.  I mistakenly thought retirement was going to be relaxing.
Silly girl.