Count my blessings

It's the Fourth of July and it's raining.

So I haven been keeping this blog up very well.  I do occasionally read other blog writings but if they are eloquent and perfect I feel like I don't need to be blogging.  But I read one today and realized it isn't about perfection but about voice. I just need to find mine. It isn't about writing on only one topic but a about what is the topic of my heart that day.

So lonely might be the word today. Missing people,  my friends and family in Tx.  I can call on the phone but it isn't really the same. So maybe learning to be with myself is my issue. So to be positive, I count my blessings.

 Today I think I will update the Alaska cruising trip.

We left Ketchikan under motor Monday June 30 and went to Kasaan. We did sail some out in Clarence strait.  The rest of that day we sat at the dock and went out occasionally to speak to the local fisherman    ( David salivates at the chance to do this, I'm more reserved ) We walked into town Tuesday morning and were lucky to meet up with a fellow named Stormy who gave us the low down on where to go and what to look for. We didn't need a map because the place was very small and basically had a path and a street. We found things right where he told us they would be. The carving shed, the totem poles, the Chief Son-I-hat long house, also known as the Whale House. Even in the state of disrepair these things are amazing. I imagine whose hands touched them, what the carvings meant or mean, (and I am no good at figuring this out).

These people of the organized village of Kasaan mostly live off the land. They go fishing and come in and share their catch with everyone, even with us. We traded beer for fish. Then we were invited to a            home where a young Haida woman showed us the foods she had put up from last year to this year.   She gave us tastes of things whale blubber, and smoked coho and told us great stories about her cousins, siblings and parents. She tried to describe sea asparagus but I am not sure we could find it...so she gave us a jar she had put up along with Salmon berries and frozen fish.  Her beautiful long red hair and blue eyes were a constant distraction to me as I am incorrectly indoctrinated that native Americans are all dark hair and dark eyes.

I don't know a lot about any of the tribes up here. I'm learning. It is obvious there are politics and opinions.

I haven't met a more generous group ever. If you are sailing in Alaska visit the Haida in. Kasaan

I read this today, "You probably know what you have been afraid to entrust to God". Well of course, but the real question is why am I afraid? Why do I want to hold on to anything at all.

" When we surrender our fear, we are offering it to Jesus. We are saying, “This fear is too much fear for me to bear. I give it to you because I believe you are good and worthy of my trust.” When we actively, by faith, lay down our fears at the feet of Jesus, we pick up his love in return. It is an uneven trade, a heavenly exchange…"

It is an almost unbearable lightness, a heavenly bungee jump!

"Laying down what we want to protect or are afraid of losing or are terrified we will never have is not the same thing as losing those things. It is surrendering them" .

Laying it at the feet of Jesus.


" It is opening up our clenched hand around them and allowing God access to them and to us."

Oh but first I need to identify them honestly.....that may be where the game is played, in my subconscious thoughts. First I need to ask Him what it is I am holding back. Then only after I have walked through all those piles of stuff, then only then I can surrender

"It is actually saying yes to God for them. "
Yes to my children, and the choices they make that I don't like, specifically why do they want to own guns and weapons, why a motorcycle, why keep eating ridiculous amounts of food and not even trying to exercise?

"I can sayYes to his plan. Yes to his way. It is believing that just as his ways are higher than the heavens are above the earth, so his way for the things we fear for is higher."


For my grandchildren are they watched closely enough, do they have enough freedom, are they being allowed to be creative, are they safe, are they fearful, how will I endure missing them? What if I don't see them again?

"This God of ours is a God of life, of goodness. He is the God of the Resurrection. We lay down our fear".

Face Everything And Recover.....

"We pick up Jesus. He is the only way we can live beyond fear. He is the Way."

Notes about Port McNeil and beyond

We have left Port McNeill, which I have to say is one of the nicest stops we have ever had the pleasure to make.  If all marinas were this clean and nice and easy to negotiate we would make more effort to stay in them.    You no doubt noticed the wifi was rockin, we all got caught up with correspondence.  

Sunday May 11, This is the last leg of our journey where we will be on the east side of Vancouver Island. (Inside Straights) Tomorrow early, like 6:30 am, we head across the Queen Charlotte Straights around Cape Caution to Fury Cove off Penrose Is. This is a real calculation since waves can be high and wind can be either helpful or horrible. We will be up against the middle to upper coast of Canada and there are many barrier islands but weather wind and wildlife are much more abundant up there.

Mid way along the sun has come out and while it is really cold on the front of the boat it is just wonderful on the back porch area. We have been putting the jib sail up, off and on to see if it helps us move faster. The guys really like doing this....see picture!

It is neat how fast a leg of the journey can pass when there is sunshine. As we approached Port Alexander, 3 Dalls porpoises joined us and were swimming and playing ahead of us when suddenly they were diving in front of the hulls and jumping out of the water like they were saying hi! They were zig zagging all over...then as quickly as they came they were gone.

Once we had anchored in Alexander Harbor It was time to re organize the charts and guide books, put away those from Vancouver Is, desolation Sound and The Broughtons, and to take out the ones that will move us beyond 50' 53.374" north bound  for Rivers Inlet, Fitzhugh Sound and Calvert Island.

Now we are anchored and resting. No phone service no surprise. And yes I know all the anchorages are starting to look alike.... Lol I'll take a sunset shot tonight.




Oh!
Just a note, we were visited by a bald eagle around 6:00 p.m. as we were preparing dinner, he came and sat and posed in a tree about 200 yards away. We might not have noticed except he did a fly by first and the screech they make is becoming recognizable. We have seen many of them this year so far. Hopefully they dignify blessings.

We are now waiting for a weather report on waves and wind for tomorrow.





Monday morning bright and early, the sun starts it's day around 5:40 so at 5:30 there is light...

Anyway we got a favorable weather report, light winds fairly calm seas and favorable currents with an ebb that would push us up away from Vancouver Island...so we grabbed a cup o coffee pulled anchor and headed out.

It has been raining but the seas are only 1-2 feet. That said it was enough to disguise a flotsam of logs until we were right up on it. A few bumps , nothing too serious. Thank the good Lord!

We basically set a course ( for those who like to google) from Pine Is BC.  WNW to Cape Caution then a slight turn to Egg island BC we passed storm islands to the west and came only within 3 miles of Cape Caution. 

By 10:30 am the ebb has started turning to flood and we are hoping it will push us N NE into Fitzhugh Sound.  Lots of water moves during the tidal changes so it is imperative to have a tide and current reference for this area.

Port McNeill IGA was great for provisioning, lots of goodies for this passage. Crackers, hummus, cream cheese, peanut  butter.

Remember every day of the trip

Wednesday April 30 left Port Angelis Wa check in with Customs in Sidney,
Some shopping for fruit and veggies and dinner at a Greek restaurant .

Thursday May 1 Sidney to Princess cove anchorage. Beautiful spot and we took a nice walk.

Friday May 2 Nanaimo beautiful sunset did laundry. Harbor ok lots of sea gulls facilities far apart require loonies and tokens. Beautiful sunset after afternoon shower. Great pictures.

Saturday May 3 ballet cove. Very small private rain

Sunday May 4 Lund hotel. Arrived at 3 sat around only to find things were closed by 5. Got up early for breakfast at Nancy's gf muffin. Dinner sat night Lund hotel fish and chips.

Monday May 5 Tuesday May 6 desolation sound. Very pretty, crisp clean looking. Totally alone first day. Two other boats arrived Tuesday really enjoyed dinghy rides to other islands. We didn't get out to walk we found out Tuesday there was a walking trail on the land on side of Melody cove.

Wednesday May 6 headed north and stopped on Cortes island at Squirrel cove. Bought fish and some veggies. Beautiful stopover.

Thursday May 7 the first round of narrows going north through desolation sound into the Broughtons. Stopped in Cordero cove.

Friday May 8 passed second Narrows and did a marathon run to Port Hardy. We stayed two nights beautiful weather. Nice marina. David bought way too much fishing gear.

Sunday May 11 weather reports had us heading out to stage at Port Alexander for crossing Queen Charlotte Straight on Monday. This is the last leg of our journey that will be on the east side of Vancouver Island. Tomorrow early like 6:30 am we head across the queen Charlotte Straights around Cape Caution to Fury Cove off Penrose Is. This is a real calculation since waves can be high and wind can be either helpful or horrible.


Right now the sun has come out and while it is really cold on the front of the boat it is just wonderful on the back porch area. We have been putting the jib sail up, off and on to see if it helps us move faster. The guys really like doing this....


Monday May 12 crossed Queen Charlotte straight. Went north around cape caution...Rainy 2-3 ft seas not terrible. We were glad when it was over and we anchored in Fury cove.


We arrived about 1:00 pm we started at 6:00 am. It wasn't a bad crossing. Seas never went above 3feet but we did get a period of about an hour with cross chop. That meant you braced yourself well and held on tight and walked around only when necessary.


Fury Cove really is beautiful, and at least 5 other boats agree. This is the first time this year we have seen this many boats at anchor at the same place.

It is 51' and raining.  In honor of a great successful crossing we had Tomato soup and Grilled Cheese sandwiches.

Now unfortunately Dave has to perform yet another open head surgery. We went 7 days without a clog. That is a huge improvement.

Tuesday May 13. Overcast and nearly 60' but no rain. Big smile!

We have been enjoying the flood pushing us up they Fitzhugh sound, radio on as required, and listening in on a group of boats about a mile or so west of us who are traveling in the same general direction. One skipper is quite knowledgable and gives interesting tid bits. One of which is to keep an eye out for humpback whales. So far we have only seen a small Holland America cruise ship "Volendam". Even though it looked like it was hardly moving, It kicked up quite a wake.

It's quiet on our boat, David is taking engine temps and checking amp readings constantly on the batteries trying to decide if things are calibrated the way he was told.  Larry is writing his notes on the journey, I have been on and off watch a few times, and marking times we passed waypoints. These are usually little concrete light house shaped things painted white and red and often they have a blinking light that is hard to see in the daytime.


The winds are starting to come up on our nose making it hard to keep up speed and too direct to get help from the sails;  and the tide has shifted so the current will soon be trying to push us backwards. Must be time to find a cove and anchor, the one we have picked out is called Kisameet. Tomorrow we head past  "Evan's" inlet to Ocean Falls where it is rumored they have internet.


May 14
Ocean Falls is just charming. It is an old cannery town abandoned when the cannery business pulled out. There is no road to Ocean Falls, cruise ships will occasionally stop here. They have a huge hydro electric dam and make the power for the central island area.

May 15-16-17 shearwater Bella Bella leaving early the 17th.


Sometimes we forget! Nature is Gods paintbrush His illustration, not a wish for our genie in a bottle.

We enjoyed 4days of drenching rain from Shearwater to Prince Rupert. Fortunately it is sunny now. We may be leaving in the morning to go to Dundas is to get ready to cross Dixon Entrance ( another of those crossings with a view of Canada on one side and Japan on the other) on Monday morning.
May 24 2014
While in Prince Rupert we checked out the British Columbia museum and went to a Salmon Feast being put on by the local Indian tribes. It was excellent eating. We learn from them every time we get to do this.
Turns out we went left Prince Rupert early on Sunday and passed up Dundas island and went straight to Foggy Bay. What a pretty little anchorage.

Ketchikan

Ketchikan is an interesting place, it's called Alaska's first city because it is the customs check in for anyone arriving from Canada. It is a fishing boat dominated town, located in a rainforest but also heavy with cruise shop traffic which is confined mostly on the south end of town. There are a few hidden treasures for folks who don't salivate at the opportunity to walk endlessly through souvenir shops. The SE Alaska museum is wonderful as is the Tongass museum.The Rain Bird rainforest walk maintained by SE Alaska Univ, is excellent, with grand views of Tongass Narrows...fortunately we had on good walking shoes and charged phones for pictures.  The Water Street trestle walk was also worthwhile. 

We made this trek starting from our north end location at Bar Harbor Marina with our goal being the Totem museum ( time well spent).  We started all this walking down Tongass avenue but got tired of the traffic so we cut uphill at Elliott street to walk the water street trestle where we saw neighborhood living with a view.  Once in town near the cruise ship docks we did a quick twist to get us over to Creek Street where we lingered and shopped awhile. We walked a short way along Tongass ave. again heading south out of town before making the turn uphill to the Totem Museum, Fish hatchery and city park. We grabbed food at the IGA and made an urban picnic in Ketchikan city park. After eating and seeing the museum we walked along the creek as far as we could before heading off Schoenbar Road to the RainBird Forrest walk. We ended up right back at our harbor, dirty and tired but happy.


The local people are friendly, happy, and very polite.  Everyone works hard and there is a sense of adventure in most everyone eyes. You meet lots of folks at the laundromat....The people who love being here stay. 

to see spring

Spring has sprung, sure...but not so fast! 

There is nothing more tentative than Spring in Central Texas. 

It slides into our calendar on dotted lines, sometimes as early as January. 

February and March are littered with reminders that we need all manner of clothing handy at a moments notice. 

Then there is the lull of April, some rain, some sun , a string of very warm muggy days and away go the heavy coats and long pants , hello shorts, and tank tops. 

As usual there needs to be one more reminder that we are never certain. A possible freeze the week before Easter, and a very late Easter at that...

To believe in miracles

Jesus said tell no one until the Son of Man rises from the dead....he was speaking less of the calendar and more of our hearts. If we do not carry the miraculous story of our risen savior in our hearts than we cannot speak about him.

Philip Morrison shared in his Encouraging Words.... Do You Believe in Miracles?

The life that began with a miracle and ended with a miracle became a ministry filled with miracles. From turning water into wine at Cana in Galilee, to several miracles of healing the sick, to the feeding of 5,000, then of 4,000, to walking on the water, to cleansing ten lepers, to raising Lazarus from the dead, Jesus’ ministry was filled with miracles. Though some scholars count forty miracles, most agree that Jesus performed thirty-seven miracles or approximately one per month for the three years of his ministry. All the miracles were impressive to those who witnessed them, but sometimes explained away by those who only heard about them.

Lord I do believe, help my unbelief.

to navigate

I borrowed segments from the lenten Magnificat, today.my reactions  today

A flatterer never seems absurd: the flattered always takes his word.  Too much flattery makes me suspicious but just enough is like a tiny drop of poison in every vat of wine.

A Prophet always seems absurd: those to whom he prophesies always reject his word" Flatterers are popular because they say what people want to hear. I have a harder time here, because as I grew up, with absent parents,  I learned to listen to every warning and brace myself, maybe going overboard...I now almost instnctively ponder prophesies awhile or I believe every one. not all are true.

Flatterers avoid difficult truths because they are unwilling to risk rejection. yes yes yes

With Flatterers around we lose the potential for conversion.  hmmm ok yes, maybe so

When I put truth first, I can put relationships first, truth is the foundation to meaningful relationships. OK now we are in, (as the techies say) this is very nitty gritty, hard, I don't know how to navigate this...

When we think we know what God will say it is because we project into him our own idea of what we need to hear from Him.  I am realizing here this works both ways, if I decide God is telling me what I want to hear, or if I feel God is rejecting me all the time.

When we search out the truth it makes demands of us. And the journey begins

Reread this from church web site

God speaks to us today from the clouds. “This is my beloved Son… listen to Him.”  We need to listen to Jesus as if our very life depended on it, for this is where our life comes from. When we are on an airplane and everything is going well, most of us ignore the safety instructions before the flight, but when the plane starts bouncing around and the little masks drop, you better believe we all wished we had paid more attention. The same is true of our lives. When all is going well for us, we show up on Sundays and let the Word pass through our heads. Instead of saying with our whole heart, “Speak, Lord, your servant is listening,” we say with our pre-occupied minds,“Speak, Lord, and your servant will think it over.”  But when life begins to get rough, we start praying and asking God for help, for peace, for the joy we once thought we had. Jesus is speaking to us every day, in His Word, in scenes of violence from the Middle East, in the face of the homeless person we meet or in the stories of a close friend. He is telling us that He gave His life so that all of His children can live in the kingdom of joy and peace today, right now, if only we will turn away from ourselves and turn to Him. He speaks to us to tell us to let go of the crosses we create for ourselves, whether it’s turning 50 or 70, whether it’s the love of possessions or love of power; turn from these burdens we place on ourselves and embrace the joy and peace of feeling absolutely loved, not for what we look like or what we have, but because we are children of a loving God full of mercy and forgiveness. Take time this Lent to listen to Him. He speaks everywhere, but we are so wound up in ourselves we rarely hear. Come into His presence in the Blessed Sacrament and spend some quiet time with Him.  Train your ear to listen for His voice and perhaps you will find you can learn to hear Him all day long as He says with each heartbeat, “Love you.”

Drink up?

We are thirsty women, and that is a very good thing. It may not be comfortable, but it is good. If you aren’t aware of your hunger, you’re not very motivated to go to the banqueting table. If you aren’t aware of your thirst, you don’t seek something to drink…
In our world, we are barraged with options as to how to quench our thirst. We are buried in advertisements and information and suggestions and ideas and products and programs and have you heard the latest? Catalogs and flyers are felling forests to offer an answer to our ache, to assuage our thirst.
I have tried a lot of them. I’ve bought the shoes, read the book, done the study, and attended the program. I’m still thirsty. Scientists warn that the ability to be aware of and respond to thirst is slowly blunted as we age. In a world that oftentimes feels as dry as a desert, we can become numb to our own thirst. 
But as women who are being transformed into the image of Christ, we don’t want to grow numb but increasingly thirsty. I’ve tried to assuage my thirsty heart. I still need something to drink. I need the Living Water himself. So do you. It is our most precious fundamental need. Jesus invites, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink” (John 7:37 NIV 2011) from Stasi Eldridge, Becoming Myself Today.      



Yesterday in the middle of our set up for the Ladies of Charity volunteer appreciation luncheon, I kept noticing how horribly thirsty I was. There was so much to attend to many hands together were accomplishing much. There were many small details to tweak. When finally there I saw it, the drink table where I consciously stopped and asked for a glass of water. How similar this event is to life. I struggle with only part of who I can be when I don't stop for the living water every day. I have renewed respect for the things available to renew me, to offer a drop of water to my parched soul. Daily Mass, A piece of music, a prayer,  a reading from sacred scripture, a  friends posting a verse, a reflection like the one here. 

Know me

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us . . . And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. (Marianne Williamson)

The first time I heard this quote repeated it was attributed to Nelson Mandela, he had quoted it in a speech he gave to the people of So Africa. It was many years before I learned who it was correctly attributed to.
The words might as well have been scripture for their ability to cut to the center of me. I know exactly where I was standing when I heard them who said them and what the wether felt like. I couldn't stop pondering what it really meant to each one of us as children of God. I felt humble and called and confused.

When I was younger in a career, working like some kind of manic machine driven soul, on occasion I would hear of someone leaving saying they were cutting back to be with their family, or because they were sick. I would feel a stab at the center of who I was, because I often had to push off anger toward them thinking they were now making more work for the rest of us. The truth was they were empowering me. The work I did was important but not so vital that I couldn't stop. Once I realized the work would still be there and didn't require me, I stepped into the next pit and fell prey to my own promises, working myself into delirium wanting to be known for my great integrity.  The vortex continues and I got sucked in again.

The key maybe is to be involved and giving freely and in that letting our light shine. Who are we indeed, born to manifest the Glory of God that is manifest in us. I am a poem being written by The creator Himself as the present need dictates, I am not a five year plan, or a percentage to be increased.  Blessed are the meek, the peacemakers, the children of God, for the earth they inherit will be filled with the fruits of the Holy Spirit, love Joy Peace Patience, Goodness Kindness, Gentleness, Faithfulness and Self Control, the Self Control to smile and say no.

I thought I had this figured out than I read this from God's teaching to St Catherine of Sienna: 

The same is true of many of my gifts and graces, virtues and other spiritual gifts, and those things necessary for the body and human life. I have distributed them all in such a way that no one has all of them. Thus I have given you reason – necessity, in fact – to practice mutual charity. For I could well have supplied you with all your needs, both spiritual and material. But I wanted to make you dependent on one another…

So, we are designed with a fundamental need for one another. Humility, mutual dependence and charity, are absolutely necessary for our spiritual growth; they are absolutely necessary for us to overcome serious spiritual challenges. Our culture, fueled by the lies of the enemy, militates against these holy needs and seek to replace them with the anti-virtues of pride, independence, and hyper-individualism. These anti-virtues coupled with fear and vanity have locked up and destroyed many people of good-will who simply would not reach out and get help with the challenges they face.

Jesus said that He came to give us life and that more abundantly. Reach out for that life that he offers to you. Don’t settle for less. Get the help you need.

Soften up

If today you hear God's voice harden not your hearts: Psalm 95



Oh Lord, I have been duped, yet again. and not because anyone more clever than I blinded me. I was duped because I chose to be lazy, I chose to ignore those little twinges and voices you send out when a faulty persuasion or argument is in progress. I chose a human way, my way, also known as a hard heart.

As a mom so long ago, I learned to listen to my "mom intuition",  sometimes by trial and error but I got pretty good at knowing when my kids were pulling something. I shared my experiences with other parents and listened to them to benefit from their experiences. I knew then not to ignore those signals, the life of my children might actually depend on it. It was a formula that seemed to work.

So why do I fall prey to feeble logic and ignorant arguments, now when the situation is maybe a bit less personal why do I ignore those internal signals. where is my formula?

All truth is in You Lord, all truth. All love is found in you, Lord, and only in you
I must always remind myself misuse of facts can indeed cloud what I know is truth and how I must love.

I have a dear sister who rarely commits to popular opinions but always turns to her daily scripture and faithful friends for guidance.  I wonder if I can ever come to embrace a daily commitment, not for the joy of completing bible study programs because I have stacks of them, but for my daily self.

Isaiah tells us that Jerusalem rose and fell over her people remembering to pray, and worship God, like all humanity their values were held strong one second and traded for the popular whim in the next. But when they returned to God, The Way started to straighten.


So the question is, through prayer and scripture will I be strong enough to listen to and follow the right instincts placed in me by God. Perhaps,
If I do not harden my heart.

learn from my daily

I did not write this: but I can learn from it.

the source is Ransomed Heart Ministries who still includes me in the daily reading list even tho I have never sent them a dime.

I used to spend much time griping that things just weren't right, why cant I trust anyone to do the right thing to be the bigger man. why because we are fallen all of us.

How do I assimilate this and not get depressed? because there is hope, depressed is where the broken world lies. hope lies in my moments of prayer, worship, and trusting God.

Things are not what they were meant to be. East of Eden, we have kept moving east and come all the way ’round, finding the garden utterly lost and cruelly unrecognizable. We were all born into this world. We came in gasping for air, and we are gasping still. It’s a tough place to make a living, a hard place to make a life. Fire and ice. Beauty and terror. Pain and healing. Intertwined.

The good news is that Life wins out. Life has already won out. Love has won out. But the battlefield remains where we find ourselves, and the setting of the battle is a world that fiercely hates women. God loves women. Jesus loves women. The Enemy, the Devil, has women in his crosshairs.

Not a cheery thought but one necessary to face. Your life’s journey runs through unfriendly terrain. You knew this already. The smoke from the heavenly engagement going on all around us affects our watery eyes and our labored breathing like smog. With mortars flying, aimed at our heart, we need to name it. So much of the sorrow in our lives finds its roots in misogyny.