get back home

I just made a plane reservation to go back home to Austin to see my grandchildren. I am light headed and happy with a pit of butterflies in my stomach.


I have become more aware of nerves or dread whenever I make plans and fix them in place. It is like I discover this dark thing off in the background of my plans. It can be huge sometimes like a wide still lake, or like a big puddle covering a street intersection dark and mysterious, It leaves me feeling strange and off balance like I have forgotten something or cheated someone. Is it the same for anyone entering the unknown? What is so funny, when I was much younger anything different was exhilarating I never worried about how things might change, I loved change....like a junkie!

It is amazing today how this one small change feels like it adds or takes away color in my world. I had been thinking this wasn't possible to make this trip; but then like I had this a tap on my shoulder I decided to start praying that if this could work out that it would, and amazingly it has.

Philipians

Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God.

Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. ⁶

Keep on doing what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me. Then the God of peace will be with you. ⁷

⁸ I rejoice greatly in the Lord that now at last you revived your concern for me. You were, of course, concerned about me but lacked an opportunity.

Not that I say this because of need, for I have learned, in whatever situation I find myself, to be self-sufficient.

I know indeed how to live in humble circumstances; I know also how to live with abundance. In every circumstance and in all things I have learned the secret of being well fed and of going hungry, of living in abundance and of being in need.

I have the strength for everything through him who empowers me.

When has the world knowingly changed? Almost never , we just don't know what is going to happen. I ask myself often why didn't any one know about this or that...

I have a heightened sense that I have left disappointment in the wake of my plan. but WHY? My husband has offered numerous times to let me go visit. This time it was my request and not his offer but he said sure. Why do I feel so uneasy? Do I always have to have show girls singing and dancing so I know I am OK that I did the right thing?

The boat progresses, I am truly excited and happy and scared. I am also deeply sensing David's apprehension. He doesn't dare allow himself to get excited about completion. I really sense it is near. The boat I have realized is really a huge puzzle that until our project only existed on paper. There isn't a manual of what to do when, that is why we are so very grateful for John Shaw the company owner and builder. He is the one with all the knowledge in his head. We build a part and hook it with a previous part. If that doesn't work he has a whole list of ways to try and make it work out. So far there have been delivery delays and missed worker who are ill that has slowed the project down


I remember watching Jesse James build cars on a TV show, and there was this thing if the car didn't start when they were done, he blew it up. How crazy is that.

The boat will get finished. All will be well we will sail. And in the mean time with my trip back to Austin I will be making lists of things I just can't live without; and plan to hug my grands to pieces. I will be there for William's Birthday, I can maybe watch one of his soccer games and pick Layla up from school and visit my friends for coffee. Oh excitement.

Rejoice in the Lord!