Unwind

This is not the way it is supposed to be, We are not supposed to be without God. God came to delight in us, and in return we will delight in Him.

His Spirit is here I believe this, so why do I feel so alone.

 David is home now for another month or so, spending one or two days a week reconnecting with friends,  He will go back to the boat in January to the mess that is constantly generating, the people who constantly tell half truths. I shudder at this. I vowed my support and so it goes.

The letting go thing is my task, but I can not just let go of everything so I have to see it as allowing myself to be unwound. Slowly the tightness of things I have controlled is slipping out becoming looser and moving away out of my grip. As this happens I feel like I am reviewing old moments of foolishness, old mistakes, I want to jump up and explain but that isn't part of it.  I need to have faith in what not to say. When not to speak, When I do not need to know.

I try to move forward with my life and be better but feel like a character in a movie who has just agreed to reform and I have no where to begin.

What will the day hold Lord? Will others need me and will I see it and respond appropriately;  or will I just be waiting here like my old dog just sleeping in her chair, waiting for some one to call me loud enough that I hear and respond.